"There’s no link between diabetes and diet.
That’s a white myth, Ken, like Larry Bird or Colorado."
-Tracy Jordan, 30 Rock

Wednesday, March 26, 2008

Dang Hood Done Popped Up

I've had a few inquiries as to whether my hood actually popped up Dukes of Hazzard-style at 50 miles per hour. Yup. It sure did. This is what a hood might look like after such an event:


Strangely enough, it doesn't line up quite right ever since.


Those of you with an eye for the finer things in life might have noticed the sweet maroon interior. That's right, sports fans, sweet maroon velvet, sweet maroon velour, sweet maroon carpet, sweet maroon plastic, and sweet maroon corduroy as far as the eyes can see. Wood-grain details? You better believe it. Radio with AM and FM? You betcha, and throw in a cassette deck for good measure.

Emergency brake light on all the time? You bet it is? Why? Because that is how I roll. Also because I snapped the e-brake line a few months back and the pedal just hasn't been the same ever since.

This sweet rig also offers power windows, one power door lock, and cruise control. I've never used the cruise control, because using cruise control on a 20 year old truck with a faulty electrical system ranks right up there near the top of the old Sketchometer... certainly an 8, maybe as high as 9.5 depending on the traffic and road conditions. I thik the big bundle of wires that aren't connected to anything under the hood might have somethinng to do with the electrical system not quite meeting current CATNEYA* standards, but what do I look like, a freaking electrician?

*CATNEYA is the Carmaker's Alliance To Not Electrocute Your Ass, a fine upstanding consumer safety group dedicated to making cars that aren't prone to delivering large doses of electricity whenever a user touches a certain metal part, typically a door handle or body panel.


3 comments:

d said...

I don't get how the safety catch didn't prevent this...

Also, is that your knee, part of the dash, or both?

Brian said...

safety? bah, I remove all safety devices from vehicles as soon as I buy them. Plus, I think safety catches only work if the hood is mostly shut. There is a chance that my hood might have been mostly open.

That is obviously not part of the dash, as it is not a sweet maroon color. It is my knee.

krista said...

What are you driving these days? What happened to the little box with wheels?