"There’s no link between diabetes and diet.
That’s a white myth, Ken, like Larry Bird or Colorado."
-Tracy Jordan, 30 Rock

Wednesday, February 20, 2008

Whiny Little Schnauzer Bitch, Part 2

So in a shocking turn of events, it turns out that the whiny little Schnauzer bitch is named Sadie, and her jackass owner is both a Yankees and a Giants fan, according to his jaunty team sportswear. Just a brief moment while I put on a surprised face.

In other dog training news, some lady at class tonight told me I should call my dog Cujo. I guess that is better than Beethoven... interesting generational gap though, how some folks instantly Saint Bernards with that really disturbing movie, while others think of Cujo instead. It sure would be neat if Disney came along and made a charming little movie about an adorable great white shark to undo all the Jaws damage. If they make that movie, I hope it also features Danny Pintauro trapped in a Pinto. Matter of fact, I think most movies should proudly feature Danny Pintauro trapped in a Pinto. Furthermore, I think that my typical workweek should proudly feature me trapped in a Pinto with Alyssa Milano... but I digress...

Speaking of rabid dogs and 80's sitcoms, how much better would Who's the Boss be if the wacky adventures also happened to feature a 200-pound rabid dog?

"Next Season on CBS, tune it to "Cujo's the Boss, a TV show about Tony Micelli, the housekeeper, Angela Bauer, the career-woman, their kids Samantha and Jonathon, Mona, Angela's man-crazy mother, and Cujo, the loveable family pet, who happens to get rabies and then traps the whole cast in a a Ford Pinto... hilarity ensues."

Actually, I think a lot of 80's TV shows could benefit from the reintroduction of a new character. While the late introduction of a cute new character is a classic indicator that a show has jumped the shark, (think Cousin Oliver, Sam, Scrappy Doo) I think such a trend might be avoided if the cute new character turns out to be a 200-pound rabid dog. "Dang Tootie, you sure are good on them rollerskates... lets see how fast you are when Mrs. Garret accidentally lets Cujo into the dormitory!" ... "Whatchoo talking 'bout Cujo?" ... "Gosh, Mr. Ferley, I didn't see any see any giant rabid dogs in our apartment..."

Well, having beaten that topic to death, it is off to bed for me... but first a quick apology... A blogger should love and cherish those who takes the time to read, and frankly, you deserve better than this entry... it is such a cliche' to jump on the old standby topic of rabid dogs whenever one runs out of blog-worthy topics, and I'm sorry to have taken such an obvious shortcut. I hereby promise to not write any more blogs about rabid dogs in 80's TV shows... at least until tomorrow.

Okay, I take that back... I just got a perfectly clear image of a rabid Muppet totally tearing shit up, chasing Gonzo, maybe even ravaging the Swedish Chef... that would have really pissed off Harry Belafonte', no?

4 comments:

Tree said...

Speaking of 80's TV shows. Did you see the revival of Knight Rider? Wow, how do they expect the show to make it without "The Hoff"? What a big waste of my TV viewing...I'm not getting those two hours back. I bet it would have been a lot better with Cujo as the new Mr. Knight's side kick. Cujo could even drive Kit in some episodes. Food for thought anyway....

Brian said...

You know, I specifically considered the Cujo meets the Hoff scenario, and determined, sadly, that a dog like that just wouldn't fit well in a Trans Am... which is the one and only reason that I haven't got one. Kitt rules!

bw said...

I found a web site to refer to for future famous dog posts:

http://www.dog-names-and-more.com/Famous-Dog-Names.html

Cujo is not on the list which is BS, but then they TOTALLY REDEEMED themselves by including Tet from Airwolf. Ahhh, to once again feel the desert breeze from my secluded maximum security helicopter hanger…

shamalam said...

Out of idle curiosity... didn't the Muppets have a rabid "thing"... Animal? Did you see how he played the drums? I think you are on to something.. he was rabid..