"There’s no link between diabetes and diet.
That’s a white myth, Ken, like Larry Bird or Colorado."
-Tracy Jordan, 30 Rock

Saturday, March 14, 2009

The Surly Russian Beer Wench

So I'm spending a night down in Mystic with my first wife for our ten year anniversary. We stop by "an authentic Irish pub" for a beer before dinner, where we are greeted not my a sweet Irish lass, not by Shamus McGuinnes, not by good Saint Patrick himself, but by a surly Russian beer wench. She begrudgingly took our beer order after rattling off the beers on tap in a thick Rusky accent. We asked if there were an appetizer menu, to which she replied "No appetizers; we serve corned beef and cabbage and bangers and mash", except that it sounded more like "vee serv cahrn beev und hash, und bangerz und mash", all in a very surly thick accent. She angrilly slammed our beers down and demanded $9, and then goose stepped away.

We drank our beers, left a tenner, and ran away.

NOTE TO ALL PUB OWNERS: I don't care if your bar is knee deep in leprachauns, shallayleighs, and four leaf clovers, your pub ain't Irish if you've got an angry Russian chick tending bar.

4 comments:

shamalam said...

This raises an interesting question for me.

Is chic or chick the proper use of the word?

I think of chick as the animal that lays eggs and goes cluck cluck cluck.

I think of chic as a slang for women or girls.

So I would have to agree that if there is a Russian chick at the bar it isn't an Irish bar.. but suspect it has to bring in a lot of customers!

brian said...

Chick is baby chicken or female human.
Chica is female young human in Spanish.
Chic is pronounced "sheek", and means so incredibly stylish that most people around you would secretly like to push you in front of a taxi.

This surly beer wench, who turned out to be Polish according to a creepy old drunk at another bar, was certainly not chic, though I did want to push her in front of a moving vehicle, nor was she a chica. She may have technically been a chick, but I really prefer to just call her a surly beer wench.

Anonymous said...

I've got to brush up on my Russian... "Hash" = "cabbage"? Weird language. Must be a backwards 'R' in there somewhere...

Anonymous said...

"...with my first wife..."
hahahaha

~Lisa