Classified Absurdity

I read the classified ads.
It is a quirk, I'll admit, but I like to see what sort of weird stuff people sell, and I like to know what stuff is worth... like if I had a bunch of leather bondage gear to trade, what might i get for it? (odd that I keep going back to that one post... better discuss that in next weeks' electrotherapy session...)Anyway, I come across all sort of wackiness.... here's a few:

Here's a funny end to a "for sale" ad for a motorcycle:
"These were very easy miles. I am in my mid 40's and do not ride aggresively. Please reply to me at ridefast06@yahoo.com"
So how do you define agressively? One way might be riding fast. Hmm.

Next up, an interesting definition of the word "honest". (abridged version)
23 yr old male from the looking for a weekend Part Time job that pays under the table. I'm very easy going, honest, respectful, great with people, a team player, and a person who gives 100% effort into everything I do. Just an honest guy looking to make a few bucks to make ends meet.
Hmm, last time I checked, under the table jobs were ILLEGAL. Doing illegal stuff is typically viewed as, oh, what's the word, Not Honest?

Finally, this ad just makes me sad, and makes me doubt the survival of our species for much longer. This message is presented uneditted in its entirety for your viewing pleasure.
SUP PPLS i got a hole ls swaup for 88 to 91 crx or civic hatchback so if any 1 got a shell for sell call=860-208-5128 or mail me at GORILLASELLCARS@YAHOO.COM I got the car n drive it it need paper work im no goin tru tha so if any got a shell hit me up will pay up to $500 or will trade the hole swup crx for 92+civic hatchback
I'm not sure, but I think he might want to buy or sell or trade something vaguely Honda related, but that is about all I can gather. I also suspect he might be wearing a baseball cap at some odd angle, but again, that is just a guess.