Whiny Little Schnauzer Bitch

Tonight was the first day of obedience school for Special Eddie the Saint Bernard. He's a great dog, a very cute short-haired dog... but he was a bit cramped in the womb, and as a result he has one ear that is sorta folded, smaller than the other, and much lower on his head... just a little bit Saint Bertarded, he is. Anyway, it was a pretty typical dog obedience school experience... a few cute ones, lots of ugly ones, several whiners, and one even took a big dump in the middle of the room. Not the most impressive group of owners, to say the least... good thing all the dogs were cute and well behaved though.

So there was this one couple there with a little white Schnauzer who made this horrible high pitched squeal for most of the lesson. Towards the end of the night, as the assistant trainer was walking around, the douchebag husband put down his cell phone for long enough to assure this dog trainer that "it is much harder to train the smart dogs than the dumb dogs; that's why it is so hard to train Schmoopsy here..." I quickly stood up and shouted "Oh really, asshole, is that the reason your whiny little Schnauzer bitch is making that heinous noise?", and then I poked him in the eyes Three Stooges-style while saying "nyuk nyuk nyuk ".

Goodbye for now... ehhhhh.

Coming tomorrow: a (hopefully triumphant) story about Big B's Day in Court defending a certain crooked headed dog who escaped the yard and then humped a Llasa Apsa until Animal Control arrived and carted him off to the Big House...