Don't Buy This House

I conducted an environmental site inspection yesterday on a property in beautiful Bridgeport, Connecticut yesterday. Apparently they want to tear the existing house, shed, and garage down to build some old folk dorms (aka a 55-plus active adult community). Aside from the fact that every feature of the house was some combination of ugly, broken, stained, unsafe, smelly, and/or straight-up illegal, the place was really quite charming. Oh, and the location was crappy too.

But what really stood out was the basement... it was a typical site inspection basement, meaning that the basement was unlit and supremely sketchy. As expected, there was some light trickling in through a filthy cracked window, but most areas were pretty dark. I navigated only by the flash of the digital camera, a la Jodie Foster as she blasts a few rounds into Monk's boss. As I peered into the dark, I wasn't sure what I'd see...

Aside from the illegal dumping piles, the walnut panelling, the wet floors, the incredibly contaminated dry cleaners next door, and the big oil stains everywhere, there was one feature that really stood out for me. No, not the "how to create a guaranteed electrical fire" of a circuit panel, above that. Instead of regular floor joints, these jokers used nearly whole trees, and the didn't even bother stripping the bark off. I might expect this at, say, Abraham Lincoln's log cabin, but in a 1940's colonial in a city, it struck me as odd. Much as I hate to see classic old architecture destroyed to make way for cookie-cutter developments that spring up overnight, I'm feeling like the best way to renovate this house is with the business end of a wrecking ball.